How I Left My Big Corporate Job ...
CRYING…..
Not kidding. I left crying.
Crying at the realization that nearly every morning, for the last 18 years, I woke up and spent 8 - 12 hours in corporate minutia responding to manufactured urgency that suddenly felt vacuous.
Crying, because the only life I knew was that of my 18 year corporate career and the ladder that I had felt determined to climb. Logging into my laptop, coffee in hand, was the most consistent and stable thing I had ever had in my life.
What would become of me without a steady paycheck, paid time off, health benefits, and the security of the company’s safety net keeping me monotounously content?
The idea of something on the other side of the banking matrix intrigued me.
In 2013, I was in Havana, Cuba on a vacation (I mean “research project” ;)) with friends. One night while sitting on the patio, gazing at the Havana stars, and sharing visions of an alternate career reality: “What would you do, if you never had to work again?”
Maybe it was the second mojito, maybe the aromatic cigar, maybe the warm starry night, but that question, with those friends, in this dreamy environment sparked me to say
“I would share what I know with ambitious driven individuals so they could be ensured of their success.”
I got a few dry laughs. Everyone else wanted to swim with dolphins, summit Mt. Everest, be a Jack Daniels taste tester, etc..
But, I’ve always been the girl who would rather organize a closet, color code a binder, or read a book to learn something new in my free time. I’m driven by learning and constant improvement. Others might call it OCD, or Type ‘A’, but the notion that my ‘dream’ involved helping people plan their individual success was actually the most exciting thing I had said out loud in a long time.
The idea was planted …
I GOT OBSESSED.
How could I turn my skills and talents into a job of my own? How could I leave the golden handcuffs that was my corporate job and pursue a passion that I so deeply felt cabaple of?
I started with advice from a trusted expert who specializes in all things encouraging …. The Beatles. They said:
“all I need is a little help from my friends.”
Let’s see if they were right.
I reached out to four of my most innovative, talented, driven friends and said,
…. wait for it
….
“Want some help planning your next venture?”
That one little sentence was SUPER scary to say, even to my friends. One actually said no. Cue crying. But three said “Sure!” and sure was good enough for me.
They asked, “so what is it you do exactly???” …. Hmm…. Luckily, I work best under pressure …
“Well, … in my 7am - 6pm corporate job (side note: career driven professionals never work 9 - 5pm) I partner with executive leaders who run teams of hundreds, sometimes thousands of employees, to create or align their strategic goals; this might be developing operational, marketing, or finance objectives to achieve their intended results. Then I help them implement those plans via collaboration with multiple stakeholders across the company.”
- Silence -
My brain searched for better words, “Do you ever feel stuck or overwhelmed with your ideas, and not sure what the very next step is?”
“Yes”
“I add clarity, prioritization, and planning. Then you get results.”
“Ah, Ok. Let’s get started.”
After the delivery of a very thorough 28 page business plan for my friend’s new business launch, I realized…
I should have my own business plan … —>
It was hard.
I kept working at my corporate career because #safetyfirst.
I kept treasuring time with, and support from, my husband.
I journeyed into the dream of motherhood, … then to actual motherhood, … then to “I’m going to die if I don’t get a solid night’s sleep”; just like all mothers before me.
I helped more friends, then some colleagues, and then a few referrals. Each client achieved their goals with the help of my strategic planning. It was the most exciting and fulfilling thing I’d ever done professionally.
But it was really hard.
From 2013 - 2019, I juggled my full time corporate job, my ‘mom-and-wife’ job (also a full time job), and my new found passion for my part-time side hustle.
Miss Ayla Rain
I am not the type of person that wakes up unhappy one day and says,
‘F’ it. I’m out.’
Although I admire the people who do.
In 2016, I made a plan. I laid out a runway and decided this was the year I would quit my job and pursue my own consulting.
The plan failed.
Instead … I had my 2nd baby.
Day 1 in our new Mountain Town.
In 2017, I made a new plan.
I laid out a new runaway and exit strategy.
The plan failed.
Instead … I bought a home, and moved from San Francisco to Tahoe!
Progress > Perfection.
In 2018, I made a new plan.
I laid out all the things I needed to have in place to quit. And guess what?!?!
… it still didn’t work.
The plan failed.
Instead … I became buried in scaffolding, nails, sheetrock, and the need for money to finish a remodel job that I had initiated.
#Reality.
Sidenote on reality. It’s a bitch.
The cheery, peppy, single, young, safety-net, twenty-something’s can make it look easy. “Go for your dream”, they say. I love the motivation; but everyone’s reality is different. That can be TERRIBLE advice for some, dependent on their circumstances.
I believe dreams can only be fostered within a mindset that understands the realities of their own unique situation, consequences of actions taken, and seeks the excitement of risk.
Disclaimer: I recognize that as I point out my own pet peeve above, my reality is also statistically better off than others. As a white, able bodied, college-educated woman, statistically my odd’s for success are higher. This is unfair. I acknowledge this, and work to change this unfairness by providing resources and services to those disadvantaged.
My husband and I had significant financial obligations, my Dad’s health was diminishing, and we had kids (so we placed healthcare and childcare as priority expense both of which were equivalent to our mortgage). We also come from a career in banking, we know that most small business fail, and ….
I had a lot of fear.
March 2019, I was crying.
Crying from another day of not pursuing my own goals and dreams. Feeling hypocritical for telling, damn near demanding, that so many of my other clients “Just Do It”. I had built them solid plans to pursue their dreams, actively encouraged, and monitored their progress. Meanwhile I sat static.
I ‘zoomed’ into my re-occurring 8 am call on March 8th, 2019 with my manager.
I received accolades on a job well done on a recent analysis and presentation to the Board Of Directors. I was asked to start a new project for a new leader. “This one is going to be really exciting and a great opportunity for advancement for you.”
‘Ugh’ played in my head. I smiled and said, “Thank you for considering me to lead the project.”
The call ended. I literally shook my head like ants were crawling in my hair. I was trying to shake off the contempt I felt for the job. I couldn’t do it. I cried.
I reviewed my “Leave My Job” Plan. I looked at my measly business prospects. And I said,
“F’ it. I’m out!”
In my head of course!!!! I’m still a professional!
I informed my manager, “I needed to focus on my family, my father’s diminishing health, and my own needs. I can provide as much time as you would like to aid in my transition and departure.”
“WHOA” - I did it!?!?
After that, I cried.
I cried from the excitement for finally doing the damn thing; the thing I had thought about doing for four years!
I cried from the fear of the unknown; what would this now bring into my life?
That night I celebrated.
In true ‘me’ fashion, I requested a homemade Mojito (then contemplated if I’d ever be able to afford to travel back to Cuba), I cheered with my supportive husband (then contemplated the impact my lack of a job would have on our relationship), I exhaled deeply knowing I was in a town I love, with my two young kids playing innocently (for the moment) in the background.
I know this is not a death defying story of courage. I understand that far nobler actions have been taken by many people in riskier positions than me. But, it was a turning point in my life and significant to my story.
It was only from learning about ‘how’ others transitioned, that I was able to make the leap.
Now, I’m one year in business. I’ve made mistakes, beat myself up, and got back up again. The failures that I experienced helped shaped the success I’m finding now. The number of clients I have served has increased; but more importantly, I’ve grown.
It takes a great deal of confidence, self development, and courage to take on entrepreneurship; especially when you have a family to feed and bills to pay.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I do have a plan. AND I’m willing to throw that plan out the window if needed.
I want to help you get focused on your career or business goals.
I know how dream, plan, execute, pivot, and celebrate success. Let’s